It feels surreal to be telling you this, but I actually started writing this post to you from my hotel room overlooking the Sydney Harbour this morning.
I’d just finished dialling in to a conference call with The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York, after receiving an invitation to share the story of Sexy Sobriety with their Ambassador network. It was an incredible honour, and as the sun glittered across the water, a passenger liner cruised right on by my window, and I felt overwhelmed with the magnitude and beauty of it all.
Then it was time to jump onto our train to the Blue Mountains. And when we arrived, my parents called to give me the news that my grandfather had passed away.
Because, life, right?
It’s one crazy, unstoppable, messy, rollercoaster ride. One minute we’re basking in the light, the next we’re plunged into darkness.
What I’m discovering (a little more each day) is that the key to our happiness or suffering is how we choose to react.
When my grandmother passed away a decade ago, I chose to drink myself into oblivion – only allowing my emotions to come out when I was well and truly plastered. It was torture. Every morning I had to deal with my own self-loathing as well as my grief, and none of it brought her back.
When I received the news today, I felt that same urge. The desire to escape my grief and vulnerability – to numb the raw pain of it.
Instead, I chose to feel. I chose to weep, right there on the platform, in broad daylight, in full view of a ton of people. I chose to embrace my heart rather than my embarrassment about being emotional in public.
Later, when we stopped into a cafe so I could get my bearings, I chose to order a pineapple juice (not a wine).
Usually, news like this would have had me living in my head for days. Instead, I chose to verbalise what I was feeling, telling Dom the things I loved and would miss most about Grandpop.
And tonight? Tucked up in our hotel room in the mountains, with a mini bar just two steps away? I know that choosing a hot tea and a bubble bath will do a whole lot more to soothe my heart than booze ever will.
If you’re struggling with something that feels insurmountable right now, above all, choose love, beautiful. Reach out for support, be your own best friend and cheerleader, and surround yourself with people who lift you higher. You’re amazing, and you got this.