Welcome to Episode 1 of our all-new Sexy Sobriety adventure series!
This series was inspired by the question, what next? What happens when we’ve been sober for a while? How do we really take our wellness and growth to the next level, and create a life that truly lights us up?

Today’s interview felt like the perfect segue from our traditional interview series into this exciting new realm…

 
Back in my teens and 20s, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what self-awareness even was, let alone have a strong enough sense of self to know what my values were.

I remember going for a job interview at a marketing company when I was about 19. The manager was a confident, charismatic man who smiled as I sat down and boomed, “So, Rebecca, tell me – what are you passionate about?”

I was completely baffled, and thought this must be some strange ‘marketing speak’ I wasn’t privy to. I mumbled something about being passionate about “my life”, but honestly, I didn’t have a clue. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

This was also around the same time that I developed the underlying belief that if I was thinner, people would love me more. I became obsessed, keeping a food diary and challenging myself to reduce the number of entries each day. Dizzy spells and almost fainting became as normal to me as breathing.  This false belief was a nightmare that haunted me for years.

Add to this, a propensity to drink myself silly, and you had one very lost, anxiety-ridden, ashamed, young woman.

It feels a world away from where I am now – alcohol-free, and finally at peace with wholesome food, my body, and my life.

I was so excited to fly to Singapore to talk to Aimee Barnes Pestano, not just because of her amazing work helping women to overcome alcohol misuse, but also the interesting crossover into eating disorders (and why it is that so many of us have experienced both).

Following her own transformational journey out of clinical depression and an alcohol use disorder in 2009, Aimee fell in love with running, and felt compelled to make a career shift, combining the fields of coaching, counselling, fitness and wellness.

When Aimee and her husband relocated from New York to Singapore, Aimee continued running, and then entered a national bodybuilding championship (and won!), propelling her onto the speaking circuit.

Join us as we dive into the correlation between eating and alcohol use disorders, the unique pressures and cultures of expat communities, and the beauty and liberation of self-discovery…

“ The disordered eating starts usually quite early, right? As a coping mechanism, or as a mechanism to push away that discomfort with oneself. And so, a lot of the women I work with, as a coach, I’m not just trying to get them to stop doing a certain behaviour, or stop using a substance. That’s actually a very small part of my job.

 

It’s: ‘Who are you? What do you want in life? What do you want to ask for? What’s your purpose? What are your values?’

 

THAT’S the work that I do and I love doing. And most often, they’ll say: “I don’t know. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know who I am; I don’t know what my values are.”
And that takes a long time to build and discover. Not running away from the self. “

It was such an incredible honour to be recognised as one of WA’s top 6 new businesses at the Telstra Business Awards last weekend!

When I think back to three years ago, and how scared I was to share the story of my drinking and how it was impacting me, not just physically but emotionally, I never could have dreamt it would lead us to this night. Filled with inspiring journeys and innovations, we were truly humbled to be a part of it.

We’re so grateful to Telstra for this amazing opportunity (and accolade!), and for providing a platform for new and small businesses to share their stories.

And to YOU guys, for all your gorgeous messages of love and support – they inspire us every day to keep doing this work in the world. And to every single one of our beautiful community for making up the magic that is Sexy Sobriety. It felt incredible to be representing my sober sisters, and smashing the stigma! This one’s for you, angels!

We’re so excited about the future of Sexy Sobriety, and can’t wait to see where this adventure leads us next! x 

 
We’ve been talking a lot in our recent Sexy Sobriety live calls, about Mel Robbins’ book, The 5 Second Rule.

Mainly because I was stunned at how such a crazy-simple concept (counting down 5-4-3-2-1 and then launching into action) has helped me to spring out of bed before dawn for the past two weeks without even the HINT of a snooze button (whaaaaaat!).

So I couldn’t wait to watch her TEDx talk, ‘How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over’.

I loved how she talked about humans being hard-wired to always want to do the easy thing. And the easy thing is to stay the same.

Isn’t that just the crux of it, though?

‘It’s too hard not to drink at social events.’  Stay the same.
‘It’s too far to travel to that meet up.’  Stay the same.
‘I’m too tired/busy to go to yoga class today.’  Stay the same.
‘I’m too grumpy to meditate right now.’  Stay the same.
‘It’s too scary/weird/unfamiliar.’  Stay the same.

And yet, we know that we don’t grow if we stay the same. We know that it makes us feel stagnant, stuck, frustrated, and disempowered.
 

What if we rebelled against that natural urge to choose the easy option?

 
What if we channelled a fire in our belly and our hearts, and refused to settle for anything less than inspired action and total transformation?

What if it had the power to change everything?

You’re stronger than you know, and you’ve got this, hon. x

December 2016

Today, my friend, I celebrate 1000 days alcohol-free.  One thousand! ????

Generally I don’t count days anymore, but when I saw a beautiful soul share a milestone like this on her page a couple of weeks ago, I got curious about where I was, only to discover I was about to enter quadruple digits.

When I embarked on the sobriety ‘experiment’ that started this all, it was purely out of sheer desperation. I felt utterly lost, beyond broken, and just so freakin’ exhausted by the sick cycle I couldn’t seem to claw my way out of.

I didn’t know if sobriety was the answer. All I knew was that my heart was broken and I was the one breaking it, over and over again.

I was scared of what would happen if I stopped drinking, but I was more scared of what would happen if I didn’t.

So I made a promise. I’d embark on 100 days of sobriety – no drinking, no matter what – just to see what happened. And then 100 became 180, which became 1 year, then 2.

And now…

One thousand sober 5pms. One thousand hangover-free mornings. It blows my mind to think about, but these one thousand days have changed me to my core.

Never mind all the dreams I never thought I’d achieve – writing and publishing my first book (read by thousands of beautiful souls); creating this coaching program and welcoming and supporting hundreds of incredible women from around the world; countless speaking events, and podcast, video and editorial interviews (and even a television story!) sharing the message of wellness and empowerment.

What’s changed most is my soul. I’ve never felt more clear, balanced, peaceful, or at home in my own skin.

And I want to reach back and hug that terrified, lost soul from 1000 days ago and tell her it’s all going to be okay. That a magical journey awaits her, once she finds the courage to take that first step. That far from her fear of sobriety equaling a life of misery, she’s about to experience a level of joy she can’t even imagine.

And that being alcohol-free is by far the biggest gift of all. ❤x

When we were invited to Sydney to film with one of the largest television networks in the country, I must admit, I was scared.

Would they handle the topic with care? Would I be able to articulate my story and its meaning under pressure, or would I fail spectacularly during the interviews? Would the topic even speak to their viewers? ⠀
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In the end, knowing that it was an incredible opportunity to reach and help more women than ever before, I put on my big girl pants and boarded that plane.⠀
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And as we flew home, I thought about what so many of my teachers and mentors say:
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“It’s not about your goal/dream/desire. It’s about who you need to become in order to realise your dream.”

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And I finally began to understand what that really means.⠀
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When my dream was to be free of my emotional addiction to drinking, I needed to become a woman who prioritised self-care; who believed she was worthy of taking care of herself. ⠀
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When my dream was to publish my story in order to help other women to free themselves too, I needed to become a woman who was committed to actually sitting her butt in the writing chair for hours on end, every single day, even when the task seemed overwhelming.⠀
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And when my dream was to share my message via the biggest platform I’d encountered so far, I needed to become a woman who could trust that she was being guided and supported by the Universe. A woman who could let go of her comfort zone and her long-held limiting beliefs, and find the courage to rise to the challenge, and really walk her talk.⠀
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My dreams were never just going to happen, all by themselves. I needed to grow, and evolve, and meet them half-way. ⠀
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Because we weren’t born to stay small, angel. We were created to become all we are meant to be. To stretch, to do things for the first time, and to reach our beautiful potential. To follow our hearts, always, even when it’s scary. ⠀
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We were created to find and shine our magnificent light.

With love,
Bex x​

:: Want to see photos and my biggest lessons from the trip? Come join us on Instagram, beautiful.
:: The television story aired on Sunday night. You can catch the replay here.

It feels surreal to be telling you this, but I actually started writing this post to you from my hotel room overlooking the Sydney Harbour this morning.

I’d just finished dialling in to a conference call with The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York, after receiving an invitation to share the story of Sexy Sobriety with their Ambassador network. It was an incredible honour, and as the sun glittered across the water, a passenger liner cruised right on by my window, and I felt overwhelmed with the magnitude and beauty of it all.

Then it was time to jump onto our train to the Blue Mountains. And when we arrived, my parents called to give me the news that my grandfather had passed away.

Because, life, right?

It’s one crazy, unstoppable, messy, rollercoaster ride. One minute we’re basking in the light, the next we’re plunged into darkness.

What I’m discovering (a little more each day) is that the key to our happiness or suffering is how we choose to react.

When my grandmother passed away a decade ago, I chose to drink myself into oblivion – only allowing my emotions to come out when I was well and truly plastered. It was torture. Every morning I had to deal with my own self-loathing as well as my grief, and none of it brought her back.

When I received the news today, I felt that same urge. The desire to escape my grief and vulnerability – to numb the raw pain of it.

Instead, I chose to feel. I chose to weep, right there on the platform, in broad daylight, in full view of a ton of people. I chose to embrace my heart rather than my embarrassment about being emotional in public.

Later, when we stopped into a cafe so I could get my bearings, I chose to order a pineapple juice (not a wine).

Usually, news like this would have had me living in my head for days. Instead, I chose to verbalise what I was feeling, telling Dom the things I loved and would miss most about Grandpop.

And tonight? Tucked up in our hotel room in the mountains, with a mini bar just two steps away? I know that choosing a hot tea and a bubble bath will do a whole lot more to soothe my heart than booze ever will.

If you’re struggling with something that feels insurmountable right now, above all, choose love, beautiful. Reach out for support, be your own best friend and cheerleader, and surround yourself with people who lift you higher. You’re amazing, and you got this.

With love,
Bex x

Hi gorgeous,

I’m beyond thrilled to be writing you this love note – the very first from Sexy Sobriety HQ – and on a Friday, no less.

Fridays, more than any other day, were my trigger. To me they meant cutting loose or relaxation, to the extreme. If I was out with friends, I didn’t want the good times to end, and drank until they did. If I was at home, I’d sink into the couch with ‘just one’ glass of wine, which almost always became an empty bottle (okay, sometimes two).

If you haven’t already, you can read more of my story below.

Fridays now stand for so much more. Each one shimmers with delicious freedom and potential (plus, hello, happy and productive Saturday mornings!).

The Universe works in mysterious ways, no?

Throughout my years of blogging at Vegan Sparkles I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a ton of talented creatives. I’m so excited to now be pulling together an incredible team to bring my vision of Sexy Sobriety to life. My intention is to create more than just the best possible website, program and resource for you – it’s to start a movement.

Because you know what’s more glamorous than champagne and cocktails?  Self-worth, empowerment, creativity, connection, and soul.

Here’s to an incredible new adventure. Thank you for being part of it. I can’t wait to share more with you soon!

All my love,
Bex

Click the images below to read more of my story: