I recently had the honour of interviewing Approval Addiction Specialist, Amy Pearson from Live Brazen. One of the fascinating things she shared with me was a powerful tool she uses with her clients.
She explains it like this:
One third of the world will always be haters. No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, no matter how fabulous our shoes are, they just won’t like us.
One third of the world will always be neutral. They could take us or leave us. Total indifference.
And one third of the world are our people. They totally get us, and think we’re the best thing since spiced olives.
The problem is we often spend wayyy too much time trying to win over the first two camps. We might dress differently, or speak differently, in an effort to get them to like us.
Carry on like this for too long, and we begin to forget who we are. Our sparkle fades. We become a shadow of our true selves.
Suddenly the third group can no longer recognise us as one of them. Heck, we barely recognise ourselves anymore.
And so we appeal to no-one. We feel isolated, disconnected, and lost. Losing ourselves further at the bottom of the bottle feels ever more seductive.
So how do we turn this train around? This is one interview you won’t want to miss. Join us as we talk approval, expectations, connection, and fulfilment – and how they relate to our drinking…
“It is human nature to want to feel connection – to want to feel safe in social groups… Safety trumps self-actualisation every time. That’s what we’re all looking for, but if you’re not feeling safe, you’re not going to start to be able to improve yourself and become that person you want to be.
And so many of us are going about it wrong. We’re settling for this false sense of belonging. We are changing who we are. We’re putting on a facade so that we can settle for faux belonging. And, as a result, our community, where we can really experience true intimacy for the first time, without ever having to try, they’re waiting there for us, and we don’t even know it, and they can’t even see it.”
Start your 90 day sobriety experiment!