So often, I think we drink – not for the drink itself – but just because we want to feel a certain way. Relaxed, happy, excited, confident, included…
Just like Elloa, I first fell in love with alcohol because of the way it made me feel. As a shy, awkward teenager it held the promise of confidence, and of freedom from the thoughts in my own head.
“I had this ‘all or nothing’ relationship with it, and even in that first experience, I drank too much. There was no such thing as moderation in my world, because it felt good and so I wanted more. And as I drank more, it was like this constriction that I was experiencing in my daily life – this perfectionism, and being a high achiever… – it was like I was able, through drinking, to kind of release it and to have an experience of some kind of freedom and some kind of confidence. And that felt really good. But it never stopped there…”
The irony, of course, is that once we start drinking we often feel nothing at all, only to feel so much worse the next day.
Elloa Atkinson has been on an incredible life journey – one that has made her into the breathtakingly beautiful soul she is now. It was such a pleasure hearing her story, and how she has healed her pain and created a life beyond her wildest dreams. Join us as we delve deep into the emotions that keep us trapped in our drinking patters, and discover what’s possible when we’re brave enough to take the path less travelled…
“I want to feel fully, completely alive. And so of course I want to be open to experiencing sadness and loss and grief, because that’s part of the human experience… It’s about being real, and being open, and really experiencing all of it. Because if I allow myself to go there – and not try to numb my shame or my guilt – but just feel it, that opens me up to be able to experience the other end of the spectrum as well. This pure, incredible joy at simple things…”
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